It s a shame I've been sitting on this book for about two years now. A friend of mine gave me Never Eat Alone , by Keith Ferrazzi a couple years ago (thanks Rey), and it s been on my bookcase ever since. It was resting there not because I didn't want to read it, but because I already had so many others in the pipeline. I finally got around to reading it last month and I definitely recommend it. In very simple terms, Ferrazzi explains why networking is important and how to do it. From how to make call lists to planning dinners to personal branding to goal setting, it s all here. He also maintains a valuable blog .
Inevitably there will be times when you have setbacks or things don t go your way. Maybe you didn't get a job you thought you were sure to get. Maybe you lost a job unexpectedly, didn't win a contract, or lost a major client. Your car always seems to break down right after you've had some other unexpected expense. These kinds of situations immediately place us in crisis. They don t feel good, but sometimes they re what we need in order to grow. The beautiful thing about crises is that they force us to take a step back and reevaluate what s going on in our lives and rediscover what we truly want and need. When we get over that initial shock and feeling of disappointment, we might realize that maybe that job wasn't really the best for us anyway. Maybe, just maybe, that wasn't what you really wanted to spend your life doing. Maybe that friend was holding you back instead of pushing you forward. The way I deal with crises of these sorts is simple: If something doesn't go my way professionally, I try to create a situation that would be more rewarding than the situation originally planned. A while ago, I was offered a job that looked very promising. After I accepted the offer, they pushed the start date back three times, later informing me (via e-mail) that they wanted to bring me on in the near future but I should feel free to explore other options. I was extremely disappointed. I felt disrespected and angry, but decided to make the best of the situation and follow my dream of working internationally. I then flew to Santiago, Chile and had great professional and personal experiences I wouldn't have had otherwise. Later, reflecting back on the original opportunity, I realized that working for a company that avoids a start date three times and then can t pick up the phone to explain the situation is probably not where I need to spend my time. Use setbacks as an opportunity to put your goals in order and act on them. In the moment, it s difficult to look at a setback as temporary, but they are. They happen to everybody. It s how you respond to them that will determine how they affect you.
Until last week, it had been almost a year since I’ve remembered having a dream. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, I had four very intense, very vivid dreams in the same night. They weren’t the kind of dreams I’m used to having either. They didn’t recap a day in my life, or anticipate tomorrow’s. They were much more meaningful, suspenseful—almost scary. In fact, after the fourth dream that night, I couldn’t bring myself to go back to sleep. In that dream, I was transported to Nazi Germany where I was an aged, worn, and dying Holocaust victim entrapped within a concentration camp. The sky was grey and gloomy. It was cold and drizzling. In the dream, the cold was intensified by tattered clothing, diminished health, a bleak outlook, and an overwhelming feeling of despair. I won’t go into everything else that happened, but that dream definitely served as a catalyst of deep thinking.
So what’s changed? Recently I was reminded of how valuable and fragile life is. Within a week, I lost a close friend, Jeremie Border, who was serving in Afghanistan and a family member, Vanessa Washington. A day prior to my Vanessa’s death, the alleged murderer of my cousin Trenod was sentenced to 25 years in prison. At the same time, I found myself forced to make difficult decisions. The day my cousin Vanessa died I was scheduled to photograph the Women in Innovation Summit 2012. I was notified of the news at 6:02 a.m. and was supposed to be at the conference at 8:00 a.m. What decision did I make? I photographed the event. Dealing with the conflicting emotions and constantly asking myself if I’m doing the right thing placed me in a period of reflection in which I had to come to terms with a few truths…
I love the work I do. But in dedicating almost every waking hour to it, I’ve essentially neglected the side of myself that is creative, exploratory, and inquisitive. Yes, I exercise those attributes in the context of work, but not in the context of my greater being. I thought back to the time I used to write poetry, read things unrelated to business, and listen and make music, and walking with the intention of arriving wherever I ended up. I decided to open myself back up to those things. Instead of not having time for…, I decided to again make time for…
As I continue this blog, it will become more of an exploration and personal narrative. Although I have always been my authentic self on michaelbmaine.com, I will share more of the “me” as a person. I’ll be sharing more art, music, and reflections. Don’t worry; there will still be commentary on business, marketing, and leadership. But my goal is to provide a more intimate experience with you, one in which you will get the full me. I encourage you to participate, as the reason I started this blog in the first place was to have a place where we can engage in conversation, learn, experience, and grow together.
I had a great time at the grand opening of the new building for BGI, The Hub Seattle, and SVP last Friday. Here are some of the pictures from that night.
